How taking a Personal Development Course has Changed my Life | 10 Lessons Which You Need to Know

 

“It is not just about doing things but how you think about what you do and what you believe about what you do.”

As a person who is always seeking means for productive learning sources; opportunities in every possible experience and struggling to improve her vision to make future more realistic and possibly beautiful by becoming best of her version, this course of Personal Development has really enabled me to identify my strengths, align my thoughts properly and taught me to utilize them in the positively best manner.

Although it would be not easy to just state ten things, as I’ve learned more than that and majority of the things have even become subconscious practice of my routine by now. However, the most important lessons which I find highly valuable till date and intend to treasure forever in my life are following:  

1.      Choose Your Lens Wisely 

“Wear the red lens and you will see the world red despite every colour in it. Similarly, wear the negative lens and you will see the world bad despite every beauty in it” 

– Maham’s wandering mind.

How you choose to view the world makes all the difference. Mind is a powerful weapon which can be used to make or break you; so it should be used wisely. Meanwhile, if relating it to ‘the law of attraction’, we attract what we think about, and we become what we believe in. According to it, we make the world around us as by how we want to see it. So make sure to keep your thoughts clean, heart and intentions pure and you will find the world helping you wherever you go. 

2.      Act as if You Are the Person You Want to Become

Visualization is an impactful strategy that can easily help you out of every situation and help you achieve your every desired goal. It was the visualization power and proactive approach of Victor Frankl that enabled him to survive the darkest tragedy of Nazi camps and torture to be ever recorded in human history. It was obviously not easy for him but the mind beholds much more power than only remembering our past memories or enjoying the current emotions – it can create our future as well! 

But unfortunately, this aspect and strength of our ability to visualize and better use our mind is not promoted or even acknowledged in our society. However, I am grateful to take the course and our convenient access to learning resources; books, articles, films to online teaching platforms, I have learned to use it to frame my reality positively and design my future path to success.

3.      Your Mind is Your Only Constant – Keep it Healthy and Well Fed 

As mentioned, mind can be used in many ways to shape one’s reality and alike our muscles needs exercise to stay healthy and body needs food to stay nourished, it also requires a few things in order to perform adequately. One of the important habits I’ve developed in last two years is the habit of reading – initially I read any genre, it did not matter much to me as developing the habit of reading was more important for me. However, now I’ve come to realize that just like what we feed to our physical body can have affect on its shape and health, the type of content we read can shape our thoughts too. So I try to maintain a balance of all different genres and knowledge to entertain as well as educate myself at the same time.

The world around us is no doubt beautiful; full of Allah’s creations and blessings, but the world that we create in our head is our only constant and directs our vision to perceive outer reality. So it’s very important to keep it healthy, and beautiful. So using the strategy of positive affirmations can help you in longer run.

There is inherited intrinsic value in all of us, irrespective of what others say, and affirming yourself of your strength, positivity, passion and humbleness on regular basis can really change your mindset. 

“You’re always left alone with that little but the sternest voice in your head. Make sure you keep it happy. Make sure you feed as it is your only till dead companion.” 

We all have an inner commentator that bugs us all time, never stops for a moment and is always willing to make up scenarios that can make it an eternal enemy. But if you will keep it happy by feeding good thoughts and affirmations on daily basis, it will become your best friend to help you through every situation easily. 

4.      Personality Types – Identify Your Strengths and Areas You Need to Work on

Although I’ve always been interested in psychology and personality types kind of content which we often find roaming on social media sites, but taking the course has made me realize the deep rooted impact of knowing oneself and how it can positively change your perspective towards the world.

Knowing your personality type will help dig deeper and understand your behaviors better.

Earlier last year, when we all were forced to stay at home and had no option but to stay confined without our homes, I discovered a lot of different things about myself. One of the most important thing was that ‘we always keep on changing and never stay the same’. But despite all the changes and whole evolutionary process, I found a few characteristics constant in me. However, many of them were the ones I forcefully empowered in me to complement the envisioned future version of myself, and few of them are result of my family setting and cultural values. However these characteristics, some of which I intend to suppress and many encourage are altogether what makes me who I am today.

Meanwhile, after attending very descriptive lectures on each personality type, it has helped me recognize my strengths as well as underlying beauty in the things I earlier thought as my weaknesses. I consider myself as my biggest critique, who does not give me the margin I am always willing to give others and it mostly limits my creativity, but those lectures have helped me view myself from a distant third person perspective – or I should say as another human being without criticizing every small thing I do. So understanding myself better. Now, I have learned to give myself the similar space and margin for growth, rest and being a default imperfectly perfect human being.    

5.      Cognitive Revolution - Be Proactive in Your Decisions 

As a deterministic person, I tend to see a reason behind every smallest event in my life. But it does not mean that I don’t believe in working hard, I think of it in a way that although Allah has a plan for you, but what you dream and love is also a part of his plan, and if he has put a certain thought and desire in your heart (obviously morally and religiously ethical), then you should put all your efforts into achieving it, and even if it still does not happen then it was a part of a plan intended to prepare you for something much better and greater than you could desire for yourself. So yes, I believe in law of attraction and ideology that thoughts can direct your future. And all the lessons, and readings about proactive approach, positive mindset and cognitive revolution has further strengthened my faith and helped me properly outline my future plans and enjoy the reality I live in today.

6.      Being Emotionally Intelligence is the Secret to Success in this Time

Being intelligent, dedicated with a distinguished skill set is no doubt crucial for success in such highly competitive time. But as modern time and such high paced life demands much more of you and one has to multitask at a time to manage all the things. So soft skills like good communication skills, teamwork, empathy, and emotional intelligence can really make you stand out, build better relationships and manage yourself as well. Emotional Intelligence is basically the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. And as we are expected to perform numerous tasks in contemporary world, it is only possible when one is contented and aware of himself.

7.      Time Management Matrix – Manage Your Multiple Roles

We perform numerous roles in our daily life – we are a child to our parents and towards them we have different responsibilities, similarly we have different responsibilities as a student, friend, partner, sibling, professional and colleague. So we have to manage our time in order to perform each role adequately. Furthermore, managing your time for productive outcome is not only about managing time for your tasks, but it also includes what you choose to do in your spare time and how you choose to spend that time. Like you can watch a movie, spend time with family, read a book, exercise or play a sport, or simply go for a walk. While some of these may seem more productive than the other but I think it’s all about what you need in the moment and balancing the schedule. Because when you’re too exhausted and tired of working all day, giving yourself a break, sleep and simply resting or watching a lamest movie is actually more productive than forcing yourself to do another task or read a book. So time management matrix can actually help one keep track of their activities and maintain a healthy balance.

8.      Your Every Experience is Meant to Teach You Something - Growth Mindset

“You can’t change the reality, but you can shape your reality the way you want.” 

– Maham’s wandering mind

You can certainly not control what happens to you, but you have control over yourself and how you choose to respond can make a huge difference. You see how I did not use the word ‘react’ because there’s a huge difference in reacting to something and responding to something and we all have to learn responding instead of flowing with emotions and give abrupt reactions only to find ourselves ashamed, guilty and embarrassed afterwards.

What is the difference between responding and reacting?

Well to start with, the difference is quite obvious even with our limited understanding of our both words. You react to something immediately, while you usually take a moment before responding and that’s exactly the difference. When you react to certain event in your life, you cave to your emotions which are usually not positive in such circumstances, but when you pause for a moment, reflect and think over everything rationally and analyze the situation from alternate perspective and then respond, it allows you to empathetically deal with other people as well as yourself. Meanwhile, this is exactly what emotional intelligence is in fact. You learn control your emotions instead of letting them controlling you. You take responsibility for your actions and decide to work on your shortcomings rather than blaming others for putting you in situations that had you reacting. So if you are able to do that or even have realized the need to do this, you’re doing well.

9.      Dedication and Positivity Can Take You Places

After acknowledging my personality type – ENFP – I have understood why I was always influenced by small gestures, noticed shifting body languages, interpreted underlying meanings in conversations, and could not stop myself from getting social with literally every person I meet yet be a highly private person. All this always seemed quite contradictory and generated inner conflicts that I could not possibly share with anyone nor most people could relate, but now I am quite clear on where I stand and how I see myself. Meanwhile, owing to my aforementioned traits, I’ve even learned a lot of things from our trainer, Sir Atif Mirza, who haven’t taught me anything specifically yet did a lot while delivering his lectures.

One of the most important thing that I’ve observed, found and learned from our instructor is your positivity, pure intention and dedication can take you places and when you work on yourself consistently without letting others disrupt your inner peace, no one can stop you from becoming the best version of yourself and achieving all your desired goals.

(You might notice I have not mentioned ‘find yourself’ even once when referring to growth, I used to say it a lot in the past but now I have realized you don’t need to actually find yourself because you were never lost, all you have to do is uncover your hidden treasures and polish them with time, dedication and effort.)

10.  You Don’t Need Anyone’s Approval to Be Who You Are

Last but the most important lesson which I’ve learned is that the only person who has the power to make you or define is you!. So only by embracing yourself - by doing things that make you feel the most alive and by accepting yourself truly first, you can become successful and contented human being in this time of chaos.

Embrace Yourself - Self Love is the first Secret to Happiness!