Communication Gap between Children and Parents | Causes and Effects | Solutions
In this immensely interconnected world, we have turned out to be utterly detached from our surroundings. The more we have to tweet about the less we find words to talk about. This problem started as a side-effect of media, but now it has taken a malignant form and there is no way to revert its effects.
Communication Gap
1. Teenagers suffer silently
Teen years, being the age of excitement, make every teenager sensitive to emotions. But predominantly, parents do not allow them to express fully and thereby, are forced to suppress their feelings which develops them into distant and reserved adults. And even if they grow into jolly and extroverted adults, they would have uniquely reserved and double personalities, where they might be very social but still keep everything to themselves and not share anything personal. They would maintain harmless dual personalities; one for everyone and one for themselves.
Depression and anxiety boom
Due to such unspoken feelings and reasons, the rate of depression is climbing sky rapidly. People have become habitual of keeping things to themselves and eventually overwhelm under all the pressure and end up getting depressed and think less of themselves, which only give vent to more anxiety and insecurities.
2. Parents suffer loudly
On the other hand, parents too become unable to talk about their problems. Consequently, they stay irritated and occupied most of the time. Both sides being unaware of each others’ problems, fail to empathize and it results in one of them lashing out at the other, which are mostly parents. They put unnecessary restrictions, shout at every little mistake and consider even the slightest counterargument as misbehavior which eventually distant the child even more.
What are the causes of communication gap between children and parents?
The reasons behind the gap could be many but few of them are following:
1. Virtual reality vs Physical reality
Parents and children both live in two contradictory worlds. This is what initiates all the problems. Children being used to technological world, can’t get enough to talk about in real world. And parents being new to this, can’t understand its technicalities. It engulfs all the things in common among them and ends up infecting the purest parents-children relationship.
2. Different outlooks
With every passing year, things are changing drastically. World is changing and so is its demands. But parents, at times, fail to understand this cultural evolution. They need to realize that what was maybe not fit for them in their time, can be fit for their children in today’s modern age.
But child being slave to their newly gained freedom can't talk to their parents calmly about it and parents being themselves can't let them do what they don't approve of. This causes differences, and children stop sharing the things they like and goals because they start to believe that parents don’t understand them and does not value their beliefs.
3. What will people say?
As time has changed, so do our priorities. But most of the population consisting of parents, still don’t understand such things. Therefore, they talk behind the people who allow their children the things they themselves do not approve. But parents need to recognize that this fear of pretentious reputation and societal judgement can harm your relationship and child’s life forever.
So even if after killing all their pioneer ego, children take a step ahead and calmly talk to their parents about why some things matter to them and how they would appreciate their support and even if parents agree, they are hesitant to move ahead because people never spare them of backbiting. So even when parents understand their children, they still hesitate to support and encourage them to achieve their goals just because of this fear.
4. Unnecessary restrictions
Some parents face hard time adjusting to new trends and put unnecessary restrictions upon their child, which instead of keeping them on right paths push them off the track. Speaking from personal experience, I have observed many fellows of my and above age, who were the rotten products of such prodigiously restrictions, which made them unusually curious of the other side of the world from which they had been blocked since forever.
A little exposure does no harm, instead makes a child understand the curse of threat and blessing in those restrictions. It makes them more obedient and appreciate the limitations because they have seen what lies beyond those boundaries.
5. Unrealistic Expectations and demotivating behavior
Unlike insecure and hard-to-adapt parents, flexible and friendly parents can even at times put prodigious pressure upon child by announcing their high expectations from them. The expectations above child’s capacity make child fall back. Parents envision the post-success celebrations but never aware them of how to handle failure or deal with shortcomings. They ignore the most basic nature of human being: the imperfections and uncertainty. The refuse to believe and teach that their child can fail and it is a part of life, which makes child anxious from head over heels and in many cases, a prey to depression.
Furthermore, demotivating behaviors can do even more damage than depression. Yes. Alone parents' support can boost child's self confidence and their harmful or silence, where words are required can bury their self esteem forever. This is very important thing but unfortunately, rarely anyone spits a word about it. We need to realize the impact parents have on child's personality and eventually, his whole life.
If parents are supportive and appreciative, then a child can pass through all the hardships even if there is no one else beside him. But if parents are against him or does not think good of him, then regardless of any amount of success, he won't be able to find peace anywhere.
How to improve communication?
The simple and the most efficient solution to this problem is, communication. Talk to your children about your and their problems. Obviously, if you’ve been facing above mentioned issues lately then it will take some time till they open up to you, but you have to be patient and amiably take them into confidence.
You can do these things to ensure their trust in you:
✔ Share your own problems: Yes, it can work wonders. If you will initiate sharing your problems, it will make them feel safe whenever they will need some shoulder to cry on or simply rant about anything which bothers them. In short, it will ignite the healthy-friendly bond which you might be seeking from a long time.
✔ Talk about your shortcomings: Due to natural-proudy zone parents bound themselves into whenever they're around their children, it makes children think of their parents as prefect human beings who are winning at everything. And every little failure can throw them deep into hell of insecurities and self-doubt. So, it's actually good to share your weaknesses with your children to let them see the human in you and how naturally imperfect humans are.
This will help them understand that it’s okay even if they fail sometimes. The most important thing is effort and intention. And as a result of this, you will be amazed to find a long-lost friendship in your child. Trust me!
✔ Ask them for advice on your own problems: It makes them confident about themselves and they will trust you with their problems.
✔ Never attack them personally: Never trigger their weak points they shared with you. It will only make them stop sharing things with you in future.
✔ Never reprimand them when they are sharing their personal stuff with you: If you consider something inappropriate, talk to them calmly and casually.
✔ Take them as individuals; not just as your child who has to obey you blindly. Allow them to grow as a person. Allow them to make their own choices in life and be responsible for their failures and success.
✔ Let them have their share of exposure: no parent would like to see their child suffering out of love or any other thing, but without breaking no seed can grow and likewise, for growth a little harm is required. Your child need to see the world from his own eyes.
Because if you won’t allow him to peep out and explore the world, despite its wildness, he will become only your reflection. You will definitely love him to have your strengths but never the weaknesses. He won’t have any perspective of his own. And preeminently you don’t want that. So let them fly, regardless of their gender. The communication gap between parents and child can result in lifetime disastrous outcomes. It can leave your child insecure and hard to trust others. It can evolve them into emotionless robots due to decades long practice of suppressing feelings. They can be hard to live with, due to all such reasons which can eventually even influence their personal life. It can makes them hollow with no vision because of all the demotivating lectures they had been enduring which made believe in their unworthiness.
Meanwhile, it can leave unbearable and unimaginable impacts which surely no parent would like to leave in their child’s life. So start taking it serious from this very moment and understand why it is important to undershadow your ego and prioritize your children’s trust, safety and contentedness over any meaningless culture.
Comments
Post a Comment